Prelude to Nano Writing

Foreword

The most influential text on my life this year is the "Tradition in the Modern Age" and "The Human Condition" extracts by Hanna Arendt. The extract discussed that in the modern life, there are no boundaries that once classified us as individuals, but rather mere consumers of a giant, sentient machine. In essence, to draw upon a humorous extract by Terry Pratchett, we live in a crab pot.

The crab-pot is a large pot, iron by option, of crabs. These crabs, be they mud crabs, snow crabs, or even small beach crabs all pile on top of one and another, crawling, snipping, snapper and skittering. Within this crab-pot is the world we call life. You see, the crabs have a particular habit, in that should any crab seek to escalate the sides of the pot, and they are conditioned by their crabbiness in such a way as to crawl towards the elevated crab. The high achieving crab however, cannot possibly take the weight of his mates, and thus, a tangle of crabs fall back into the pot. This, and indeed I have seen tubs, basins, and foam boxes thereof, is the reason crab-pots have no lids.

Life then, as described by the masterful Pratchett and supplemented by the significantly more academic words of Arendt perfectly echoes the modern crab-pot world. The poor buggers at the bottom are crushed by the weight of the crab-swarm, those in the middle aim to climb atop the crab swarm, and those on top never quite get over the edge of it all, been pulled down by their mates back into the pot.

The analogy may need some work, but it's a working metaphor.

Arendt in her excellent piece stated that for the modern man to validate himself, he must apply himself thus to the public sphere. The private sphere does not constitute action but rather mere behaviour. An analogy she draws is as thus:

A painter of unfathomable skill paints alone, he is imprisoned by his own accord or otherwise, and his works are never exhibited. He gains from his creative current a great multitude of pleasures, from the joy of creation to the ecstasy of surveying his deeds. However, these works however powerful, however great, even if the painter were to auction them to private sellers who then appreciates them in their own abodes – are no actions but merely behaviour.

Thus, to be man of action in the modern world is to be a man of the public. The worth of life accumulated by one in our short existence should be measured by our contribution to the public, the critique that we receive, and the legacy that we leave.

Of course I am hardly seeking to explode from my bunker like an ICBM and light up the sky, but I am seeking in my own way to make my interests public ones. Running games for kids and the like at the local store, doing a little community service here and there, and writing for publication. As such for this year's National November Writing Competition, I am going to write about the most affluent Crab-pot in the history of the world.

Shanghai 1921 – 1938 – A Crab-pot not only in name, but built on a marsh by every colonial nation in the world on the backbones of the oldest nation in history.

The Life and Death of Chilli Spanner Crab

So I decide that its time I did some cooking other than the usual salad and steak. Had a look online for some recipes, see how things differed from each nation and culture, and embarked on the journey to make Chili Crab. Mud Crabs been a stable diet of most Asians, I decide to make Asian dishes with Australian produce. One such produce is alien and strange looking spanner crab.

Species Info

Spanner Crab

Ranina ranina
Description, Location, Habitat and Harvesting Information
Available wild-caught, these marine dwellers are found from close inshore to at least 100m, usually buried in sand from where they attack small bottom-dwelling fish. Their long, almost goblet-shaped, bright orange shells (even when uncooked) and spanner-shaped front claws are quite distinctive. Found around most of the Australian coast from NSW north to southern WA, they are caught commercially, mainly using dillies, but also as a bycatch of Prawn trawling, off southern Queensland and northern NSW. The fishery has increased greatly since the early 1980s.

Season
Available from January to October, peaking from July to October with the fishery closed for most of December.

Size and Weight
Commonly about 8.5cm in carapace width and 400g, but can grow to 15cm and 900g.

And what I failed to read erg ><

To Cook
The shell is burgundy-orange even when uncooked, turning a brighter orange when cooked. Average yield is 25% (from claws and body). The flesh is translucent when raw and white when cooked, it has a distinctive, sweet flavour, low oiliness and is soft and moist. The most humane, and easiest, method of killing any crustacean is to chill it in the freezer for about 45 minutes until it becomes insensible (but not long enough to freeze it). Once chilled, it should be killed promptly by splitting in half or dropping into rapidly boiling water. See www.rspca.org.au for more details.

Anyway, Molly and McRoy were pretty darn lively, and as I read the preparation guides for Spanner Crabs on my iphone, I noted the following line. "Twist the limps off to avoid tissue damage". Jesus I thought to myself. Meanwhile Molly squirmed in the sink trying to escape. Its times like these that I can really relate to what the vegans are always saying about animal cruelty because basically, to put it in District 9 terms…

1. Twist off claws
   
   1. A ghastly popping sound as Molly squirmed in my hand, it would be screaming in agony if it could make a sound. Bubbles foamed at his mouth while he writhed like a snake in my hand. When the claw came loose a gush of liquid usually kept internal within the crab ran all over my hand, a milk texture with the smell of sea salt. The low limbs of Molly clawed and struck the empty air as I made my move against his remaining claw. Its beady little prawn eyes looking for release from the pain but the worse is yet to come.
      
2. Take off Top shell
   
   1. McRoy was probably in shock from the pain of having his limbs removed by blunt trauma. I felt a gut wrenching sense of guilt at this time, so I tore with quick motion the plates protecting his low abdomen and wedged a finger between the back cartiledge and the main body. Then with one long heave I ripped the shell from him in one big pull. The sound was akin to air been released from a vacuum seal as the shell came off and a hand full of entrails, lungs and other blue red bits poured down the crab. I immediately took my cleaver and took it apart head first. The process took a few seconds, but damn it felt like a lifetime.
      
3. Clean Entrail
   
   1. Tearing off the lungs and cleaning the flesh and carcass significantly easier without the Molly thrashing in my hand. Damn.

Slightly batter in fine protein flour, stir fry in hot oil for 5 minutes, added chili, garlic, ginger and keep turning for one minute. Then add fish sauce, tomato paste, sweet chili sauce turn until mixed. Then add basil and coriander, turn until mixed. Closed lid for one minute and presto, delicious chili crab.

Good work Molly and McRoy, mum loved your succulent flesh!

Equality Lost in Equality Row

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Pasta is a poor Asian's Ramen

To be perfectly honest, the occasions when I have had a truly satisfying ramen are far and few in between. However, out here in the westward way the the suburbs with our derelict cars and mullet haired ethnics, there is one substitute for the lack of ramen that I am glad for.

This is of course, pasta.

The concept is the same. Topping, Sauce/Soup, Noodles. Rather than buckwheat noodles (Soba), milled flour noodles (Mein), udon noodles, egg noodles, fried noodles, soy noodles, vermicelli noodles (Phen`) and rice noodles (Pho`), you have spaghetti, fettuccine, macaroni, bucatini, etc.

So it is with the craving for ramen that I so frequently go to pasta shops for my dose of noodles and sauce, hungrily jamming wads of tomato and basil coated carbohydrates down my pie hole.

Getting together a few of my close mates, we went to a locally well known restaurant called Le Porchettas. The pasta there was quite nice, I would even say al’donte`. For the price that you are paying to eat there, the food is most definitely worthwhile. The servings are good, the sauce is robust, and the toppings are generous. I had the Carbonara Gnocchi, and the sauce to my surprise was not powdery but actually creamy and delightful. Earlier I had the Marinara Spaghetti and it too was delectable, with a health helping of seafood and impressive amounts of prawns and mussels.

As such for a mere $13 - $15 AUD, it’s quite a decent bang for buck. The shop settings are simple but effective, clearly catering for middle class faire and families. The waitress was quite attentive and friendly for a family restaurant, and even made some recommendations and stopped for a chat.

The Veal (right) was however judged by our mate to be 'dry' and 'un-inspirational'. Not surprising as deep frying a succulent steak in a family restaurant, not to mention then throwing it in the pizza oven would kill any tenderless the meat originally may or may not have possessed.

In other news (and also in code ^.^), seeing that our luncheon was a gathering of titans, it was inevitable that we would assail Mount Olympus. However, much like any Greco-Roman drama it was doomed for the inevitable tragic end. After much debate and construction about the clear and distinct lack of efficacy regarding the US Medicare system, and the poor padding made by the inadequate cover it provided, the verdict was Clintonesque, and this punter resigns to never again engage in open debate about socialised Medicare ever again.

Back to the matter at hand.
This would be my dollar for flavour pick of the week.

Food in da Vietnam and Cambodia

I happened upon a lot of photos of the food and drinks I had while in Vietnam. Seeing as this is as much of a food blog as anything else, of course I will oblige with these rather special and delicious choices of yum-yums.

If there is one thing that truly rocked about the food and drinks of Cambodia and Vietnam, it’s the abundance of fruit crushes. Every thing we had was very fresh and extremely authentic in taste, consistency, and actual fruit (as opposed to bad fruit + condensed juice + ice ala every crush selling place in Australia) some selections are below. One strange oddity was that there was no milk in the country, and almost all drinks used long life milk or condensed milk - making for some very, very sweet coffee indeed.

To quote a colleague of mine, food in Cambodia is ‘oh my god, this tastes like crap, what meat is this?’ This was true, as the flavour was robust and the use of spices liberal, but the quality of the meat was so bad that I could not actually stomached a dish of Luk-Luk beef because the semi rare flesh looked less than fresh. Added to the fact that Australia produces some of the finest beef in the world, and that Cambodian’s idea of a butcher is a cart swarming with flies in forty degree heat in the middle of market square…

I think my other mate had the right idea when he stuck to curry, because our young ward was struck down with a stomach bug so very soon after our arrival. Luckily this punter’s guts are lined with manly Australian corrugated iron from all the mercury in our meat pies.

The food however was disappointing. No restaurant bar the pho` ones we visited could put out a consistent service or flavour. There were almost no foods that were so delicious as to be unavailable here in Australia.

When we arrived at Cat-ba Island, there was an absolute abundance of seafood, so much that my mouth watered and eyes squinted at the alien crustaceans I would soon devour en-mass. However to my horror and amazement, there were plenty of produce but one common theme – the utter lack of chefs.

It would seem that there is an almost derelict lack of high level chefs and even country fare cooks in the over populated tourism city of Cat-Ba. We were only staying for one night, and after surveying about ten or so restaurants, they seemed to share one common theme. All seafood were either boiled or cooked in a broth. There was no French Fusion Crab Curry. There were no Dry Chili and Spice Crabs. There was no Ginger and Shallot Crab with Friend Egg Noodle base. There only thing that did not involve a large boiled crab was variations of lemongrass, mint, coriander, basil, and fish sauce. While in Australia the Vietnamese fusion restaurants were doing so well that I was utterly shocked to find in Vietnam, tradition ruled.

Now for both countries, the street food is the highlight. The subsequent renal kidney failure is one of many disadvantages that may occur. Here are some highlights of the food we had. (Did not blog at the time, so pics not withstanding)

1. Pho` - I never realized pho was a breakfast food. Now I know. Almost daily we had the delicious and delectable pho from the local street stalls and restaurants. There is few things I have had in my long life of eating that could equate to the fresh taste of silky flowing Pho freshly made and swimming in a clear but rich soup of beef broth,. The meat was subpar as always, but the sheer delight of the noodles made my day each morning.

2. Pork Pho` from central Vietnam – worthy of mention because this was made from thick gelatinous noodles similar to Udon. It was also cooked using clear pork soup (an extremely difficult feat for those who tried making pork soup before), and served with slices of pork hock (front paw). The result is a chewy and delicious combination entirely different to traditional Pho`.

3. Vietnamese Spring Rolls – there is something about deep friend rice paper and the combination of mince, carrot, celery, rice noodles, and fish sauce that really kept us eating this artery buster daily for about a month. By the ends of which despite 5 – 6 hours of walking per day, I actually put on some weight. It is quite delicious though, the fact that oil used to cook this was probably never changed in the month and month made this a cancer inducing roll of tiny delicious death.

4. Vietnamese Pork Rolls – after our ward falls to stomach bugs, my other two companions refused to eat food off the streets. I was undeterred and gun it with all I got. The result was a discovery of the most delicious bread rolls. Freshly baked French style (hard bread, hi heat oven, crusty on the outside and soft within) with cured roasted pork (get it before 10 am to ensure fresh slices), pickles and vegetables. The ingredient that really made it (or gave my friend gastronomic acrobatics) was the preserved liver sauce, ala pâté` of pork that smeared the bread and gave it a robust, fortified and unforgettable taste of pure bliss. I love Viet bread rolls, I love it here, but the ones in Vietnam really rocked your taste buds.

There were probably more isolated cases of delicious food, but overall our experience culinary was a little disappointing seeing as we knew no locals, and the tourist packed places we visited all had little more than tourist faire. If and when I visit again, I am going to get a list from the parents of my students and do a systematic gastro workout of the area.

Disgruntled on a Sunday Night

There is a static in the air, smoke from a bushfire yonder
Pervades the atmosphere, like a blanket of fear
Choking, guttural and animal; floating like lime
On a slow spluttering river of salt

A storm rises without warning, but I feel it
Growing with momentum, it comes upon us
An idealist’s disdain for the smallest speck
Of grime smeared like blood across his name

The heart pounds, disquieted and harassed
Growling like a flea infested dog
And where should I begin, to shout out to the wide
Blue yonder, on this empty landscape of mine

The words come easily, like alcohol to a drunk
But I am too sober, and my mind somber
Subtle but sharp, like the sliver of lightning
Echoing the thunder in the distance,

Presently, it will begin to rain
But I forgot my damn raincoat.

Swap Meats

Another day, another luncheon. This time it was Crinitis Parramatta. The restaurant itself is a good one. It enjoys so much popularity that it is booked out on Friday, Saturdays and Sunday almost constantly. The waiters are attentive, and the service is decent. The setting itself is pleasant, with homage paid in large surreal paintings to Mafia and Italia themed décor throughout.

I ordered a Calzone Italiana, a fold over pizza stuffed with ricotta, mushrooms, spicy salami, capsicum, and olives. When it arrived, it looked fantastic. Very rarely do I go to a restaurant in Sydney and find a Calzone looking exactly as it should. A robust puffed pizza pastry with no burnt bits, a solid crispy golden to dark brown on top, and flour padded light brown on the side. When I had dug in however it was another story. Now Crinitis seems to have a bit of a hot and cold going for it. Last few times I was here, I had a fantastic, mouth watering, pleasure inducing Crinitis Crust (olive oil, chilli, spicy sausace, and grilled eggplant/capsicum). Then I had a horrid, bland, oil smeared tuna tomato salad that was like eating lukewarm tomatoes in fishy balsamic vinegar. This Calzone was neither here nor there. I took a section from the middle first, expecting a fresh aroma of cheese, olive and salami. Instead the whole thing deflated like a soggy balloon and a torrent of ricotta spilled out.The first bite was so filled with ricotta that I could taste nothing else; to make matters worse it was barely even heated. Then I started on the side, and it was scalding piping hot, and while it was juicy and delicious, it was also devoid of ricotta. As such it was like eating two meals. I could eat the sides and have myself a nice spicy salami pizza crust. Or I could eat 90% ricotta filling with the occasional warm olive. Certainly I won’t be trying this one again.

My companion ordered a 1kg rack of ribs. Now I am not one to order cairn in an Italian restaurant, but I had a few sticks nevertheless and it was surprisingly good. The meat was moist and succulent; the sauce was sticky and rich. The flavour however lacked basting ala Meat & Wine co, or the incredibly tasty strange grease ala Ribs and Rumps. It was just pure caramelized BBQ/Plum sauce. A mouthful of the underside was evident in the lack of marinating or basting as it was tasteless. The price was the same as the more professional grill restaurants (at $37 a pop) hence I would suggest having your meat cravings elsewhere. Also to note: the sauce was so stick that it was impossible to actually use utensils or even the tissue, as vigorous use of the tissue disintegrated it and left you with bits and pieces of tissue on your hand to continue your meal.

Crinitis is a good restaurant, I still want to trying their Misto de`mere and Seafood Platter. However, its rather hot and cold, so probably sticking to traditional pasta sauce dishes and wood fired pizza would be best.